2 reasons why kindness transforms

As a sexual assault survivor, there have been responses that have helped me so much and others that have hindered me in my healing journey. Kindness has been one of the former. It has helped me to heal. It has helped me to thrive.

Here’s why in two very simple points: silence damages, but kindness heals.

1. Silence damages

Sometimes people assume that people know what they think of them. They don’t feel that they need to spell it out. They don't feel that they need to speak out. “She/he knows that I love her,” they may say. But, those unspoken words are often filled in by those hearing them as, “you don’t care.” Unspoken words are never silent. They speak volumes. 

So, please say those words. Speak those kind sentiments. Help someone to heal. Give them courage to keep going. Help build them up when so many pull them down. It will have such a positive effect. It has for me. 

I've often been surprised when people have spoken their mind. What I feared that they thought of me wasn't true. I have been built up and helped by these moments of kindness. Don't let the silence win. Speak out. Let kindness have the last word.

2. Kindness heals 

One of the most difficult things about surviving sexual assault has been the feelings of worthlessness that overpower me. The feelings that I am different to others and so the feeling that no-one would ever care about me, about my struggles or my life. This is one of the major effects of sexual assault. Feeling that you've been targeted because of something inherently bad about you - this is hard to shake off.

The kind words of others have helped me so much in this battle. They have given me courage. They have shown me that these things are not true. That I am not somehow inherently bad. They have helped me to battle lies and progress on my healing journey one more step. And for these people, I'm so grateful. Thank you so much if you've been one of them and stepped into my world with kindness. 

So, in conclusion, kindness heals. Kindness changes and lifts. Kindness helps others to blossom, to grow and change. It really makes a difference. And it doesn't take much: a kind word, an encouraging text, an email, phone call, tweet... The options are endless. These small acts of kindness make a huge difference to the receiver. They can be the difference between thriving and existing. They can be the difference between continuing to heal and hiding in silence. The difference between living in denial and in truth.

What acts of kindness could you show today? Who could really benefit from your words?

Please consider whose life you can change today. Choose kindness.

Thank you for all those who done this for me and helped me to be where I am today. If it wasn't for the kind words of others, I'd be trapped in silence and instead am not only surviving, but am loving writing as a way to promote healing. And, as great privilege has been helping others through my writing. Long may this continue.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How has kindness helped in your recovery? Do you have any tips for spreading love and kindness? If so, use the comment option. I’d love to hear from you!

Thank you for reading,

Julia x