Beyond sexual assault

As a sexual assault survivor, there have been responses that have helped me so much and others that have hindered me in my healing journey. Kindness has been one of the former. It has helped me to heal. It has helped me to thrive. Here’s why in two very simple points: silence damages, but kindness heals. 1. Silence damages Sometimes people assume that people know what they think of them. They don’t feel that they need to spell it out. They don't feel that they need to speak out. “She/he knows that I love her,” they may say. But, those unspoken words are often filled in by those hearing them as, “you don’t care.” Unspoken words are never silent. They speak volumes.  So, please say those words. Speak those kind sentiments. Help someone to heal. Give them courage to keep going. Help build them up when so many pull them down. It will have such a positive effect. It has for me.   I've often been surprised when people have spoken their mind. What I feared that th

Often I wonder, 'Am I doing okay?' Not just okay in life, but okay in my healing journey. I wonder if I am doing it 'right,' if I am moving forwards and not backwards. If I'm overcoming the hurdles rather than being crushed and overcome by them. Am I doing okay? Well, as I continue on this journey I've realised some important things that have helped me immensely: 1. You are unique It has struck me that as much as each person is a unique, valued human being, our journeys are also unique. There is no right or wrong in how we do it. A lot has been said about the healing journey and there are countless books that talk about the steps to take. These may be helpful, but only as a guide, as we are all different. We are not robots. We are all unique. This has really helped me stop questioning myself. It has helped me to stop worrying that I'm not doing okay. This has been really important as it's given me the ability to concentrate on my healing. Conce

As lockdown has continued, I have been surprised at how it has affected me. This has meant that I've needed to practice self care more than ever, (see past blog posts on self care here and here ). As time is passing, I've spent time thinking about what is really bothering me about the lockdown and why I'm struggling.  This has helped me to consider how I can best practice self care and consider the best coping mechanisms at this time. I hope that these thoughts may help others and some of the suggestions may help start a conversation about how we can all be caring for ourselves and one another in this strange time. Feeling out of control I am someone who is used to being indoors. I've studied a lot and my work has been based at home for most of my career. Now I have a little girl, I'm at home with her. So when lockdown was announced, I didn't think that it would affect me too much. I was surprised that one of the first things that hit me was that I felt